i was late to work today (food poisoning all night, not fun), so it was me that answered the phone at 9am.

background info: plunket is new zealand's non-government community support service for babies/infants.

them> I'm calling from plunket. we have a weekly mothers group starting up at [2 blocks from my house], for mothers with babies the same age as your Casey
me> I'm working fulltime right now, would it be at a time i'm likely to get there?
them> oh, no, it's in the middle of the afternoon. oh well, i can still add you to the mailing list.
me> well, my husband is a fulltime father, is he welcome at this group?
them> oh yes, it's for parents, even though i said mothers. we should change the name. infact i'm changing it right now. it's a parents group, not a mothers groups.

heh.

I'm back at work now, and the "breastfeeding" continues - i'm pumping the boobies 3 times a day, including all the sterilizing everything in the work kitchen. This has resulted in many conversations in the kitchen, with various working fathers and mothers, on the political world of formula versus breastmilk, and some awful first hand stories of how ashamed they were of not doing 100% breastmilk.

I think it would be good to have more public statements from mothers who did less than 100% breastmilk - you do the best you can, and formula is not the evil some people think it is.

Some people can't, because of milk supply, or they have to work to pay the rent, and I'd like to see more support of those that don't achieve 100% breastfeeding.

If you post a question or statement online (like this blog post) on formula you attract comments/replies, including some reasonable and helpful ones, but also including the "you can tell my kids are breastfed because they didn't die from cot death" statements, and other loveliness. Being a new parent is full of worry, so these eat away at anyone's confidence and selfworth.

We've chosen to do as much breastmilk as possible, but there's a choice we've made to use formula. There are government funded campaigns to ensure that any mother who does that feels as much guilt as can be instilled via national advert campaign on multiple media.